but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
