I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
