you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
