i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
