hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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