I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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