Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
