I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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