Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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