My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
