Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
