? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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