I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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