Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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