Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
