is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
