I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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