I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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