Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
