I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
