He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Randomize
