I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
