David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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