No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
