just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
