so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
