Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
