She's JV to your varsity
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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