I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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