he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
