I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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