it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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