You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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