nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
