I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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