I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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