So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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