This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
