Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
