shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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