omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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