We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
