so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
