I think I died a long time ago.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
