Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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