All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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