The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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