Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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