this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
