I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
