listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
nutella sex= disaster
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
